Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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