If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My friends, they love my intelligence
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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