we have officially lost it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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