Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
