He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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