I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
