just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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