Me too!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
