Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
