She is in my trunk
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
