She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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