so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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