I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
