I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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