If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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