what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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