I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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