Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
