Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
