But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Randomize
