My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
