I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
