at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
