is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
