ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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