Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize