we're chasing vodka with high fives
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
