Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
