This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
