what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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