Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
