Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
