I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
