I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
