I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
