i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
