Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
