marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
