I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
