So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
