Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
