i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
