Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
