I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
