I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize