Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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