Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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