You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm at about main and main street
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
