This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
