I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
