It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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