my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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