dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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