she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
