we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
