On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You ruined the universe
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
