my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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