my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
